Domestic violence and autism

Domestic and family violence (DFV) is a serious issue that can affect anyone at any time.

This type of violence is where one person in a relationship harms or controls another, creating an environment where the victim is oppressed and unsafe. DFV can occur in any family relationship and affect any family member, including spouses, partners, children and pets.

DFV is not just physical violence; it includes a wide range of abusive behaviours. These can be emotional, psychological, financial, sexual, spiritual, or social, and they often form a pattern known as coercive control. Coercive control is a strategic form of abuse where the perpetrator uses a range of tactics to dominate and restrict the victim's independence, making it challenging for them to leave the abusive situation.

Content warning: this page discusses abuse and violence. Scroll to the bottom page to find support options, including crisis lines.

Understanding DFV and coercive control

There are different types of domestic and family violence, which each have unique impacts on the victim/s:

Physical abuse

Acts of violence such as hitting, kicking, or any other form of physical harm and being deliberately hurt or having control of your body taken away. In the case of people with disability, this might involve denial of basic needs, inappropriate restraint, or rough handling.

Verbal abuse

Being yelled at or sworn at, called names, insulted, patronised or manipulated by someone’s words. Verbal abuse also involves being given the ‘silent treatment,’ where someone refuses to talk to you and blames you for their silence.

Psychological or emotional abuse

This includes actions that cause mental trauma, such as belittling, harassment, constant criticism, threats and manipulation. Psychological abuse can also involve ‘gaslighting,’ which is where someone does or says things that make another person question their own memory and sanity. 

Financial abuse

Controlling a person's finances creates dependency and limits their ability to leave the relationship. This could involve restricting access to money or bank accounts, preventing someone from working, forcing them to stop work or forcing someone to take on debts or misuse funds. Perpetrators may even abuse disability benefits or restrict financial independence in a way that prevents someone from accessing support for their disability. 

Social abuse

Isolating the victim from friends, family, and other support networks, both face-to-face and online. This might involve a person monitoring someone else’s whereabouts to prevent them from visiting or seeing certain people.

Sexual abuse

Any non-consensual sexual activity, or being threatened, deceived or forced into sexual behaviour or a sexual act without your knowledge or consent. 

Reproductive abuse

Controlling reproductive choices, such as:

• Forcible sterilisation
• Forcing someone to take or stop taking contraceptives
• Forcing someone to have a pregnancy or multiple pregnancies
• Forced someone to have reproductive procedures such as sterilisation or abortion

Spiritual abuse

Restricting a person’s spiritual practices or harassing them for their spiritual or religious beliefs.

Legal abuse

Misusing legal systems to harass or intimidate the victim. 

Stalking

Persistent and unwanted attention, both in-person and online, that creates fear or causes physical or emotional harm

Neglect

Failing to provide the necessary care that the individual needs to live and have good wellbeing. This is a particular issue facing people with disability who may depend on others for certain elements of their care. 

Coercive control

Almost all types of domestic and family violence involve coercive control, which refers to a range of abusive behaviours aimed at gaining power over the victim. These behaviours can restrict an individual’s control over their body, health, decision-making and freedom, harming their self-esteem and making it more difficult for them to have independence or to end the relationship. Coercive control can be subtle, making it hard for others to recognise and understand when it is happening and how serious it is. 

Coercive control can lead to significant physical and psychological harm without intervention and support. More and more Australian states and territories are making coercive control a criminal offence. 

Who is affected?

Domestic and family violence can affect anyone, regardless of age, gender, socioeconomic status, or cultural background. Common relationships where DFV can occur include:

• Intimate partners (current and former)
• Carers or paid support workers
• Parents, guardians, and other family members
• Adult children
• Housemates or regular acquaintances

Certain groups in the population are at greater risk of experiencing DFV, including:

• People with disabilities (including autism)
• Older people
• Pregnant women
• Separated/divorced women
• Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Peoples
• People from a CALD background
• People in the LGBTQIA+ community
• Women in disaster-affected areas

Support and intervention

Recognising and addressing DFV is crucial for the wellbeing and safety of victims. Support services are vital in providing immediate assistance and long-term recovery for those affected by DFV. If you or someone you know is experiencing DFV, reaching out to 1800RESPECT or similar organisations can provide the necessary support to escape and recover from the abuse.

Leaving an abusive relationship is a critical step towards safety. Planning and contacting trusted friends, family, or support services are essential. If you are not able to reach out to someone in your support network, you can reach out to one of the organisations below using the ‘Quick Exit’ feature, which allows you to quickly close your browser or tab without someone monitoring your online activity. 

If you are planning to leave an abusive relationship or home situation, you can use Yourtoolkit.com to make a discrete and comprehensive plan for your safe exit.

Remember, the abuse is not your fault, and your safety and wellbeing must always come first.

Visit the sites below to find domestic and family violence support available nationwide and in your state/territory. If you require a translating or interpreting service to access the resources below, call 131 450 or visit this website. 

In an emergency, always call 000.