Social skills for autistic children

Developing social skills is a key developmental milestone for children, one that can be more challenging for a child on the autism spectrum.

By understanding the importance of social skills, identifying the specific challenges faced by autistic children, and offering strategies to assist their social participation, parents, carers, educators, and others can support autistic children in developing these key skills.

Understanding social skills

Social skills are the tools we use to communicate and interact with each other. These can be verbal, such as speaking and listening, or non-verbal, such as using gestures, facial expressions and appropriate body language. Social skills allow us to communicate with others, form friendships and work collaboratively with others, whether at school or in the playground.

Important social skills for children include:

• Greetings: Acknowledging other people appropriately.
• Observing personal boundaries: Respecting personal space and standing at an appropriate distance from someone when talking to them.
• Initiating contact: Getting someone’s attention politely.
• Participation: Joining and contributing to group activities.
• Cooperation: Working together with others towards a common goal.
• Behaviour modification: Adjusting behaviour according to the social context (e.g., playing with friends vs sitting in a classroom)

Social participation is where these skills are applied successfully in different situations, allowing someone to have meaningful and positive interactions with other people. 

Social skill challenges for autistic children

Autistic children often find social interactions more challenging than their neurotypical peers. This difficulty stems from several areas:

• Interpreting social cues: Autistic children may struggle to read and respond to social signals like facial expressions or tone of voice, leading to misunderstandings.
• Social comprehension: Difficulty with understanding social rules and expectations.
• Rigid thinking: A preference for routine and predictability, making sudden changes or spontaneous social interactions uncomfortable.
• Self-regulation: Autistic children might struggle to develop and use self-talk strategies that facilitate self-control and appropriate social responses.
• Empathy: Autistic children may find it challenging to understand and consider other people's feelings and viewpoints, which is crucial in social interactions. On the flip side, some autistic people may have so much empathy that they constantly feel overwhelmed by the emotions and experiences of others.

Strategies for helping autistic children develop social skills

While neurotypical children often develop social skills intuitively through observing and imitating others, autistic children benefit from being given direct instruction and practice. Explicitly teaching and practising social skills in real life is key for their learning, as opportunities to apply these skills can reinforce learning.

Practice play

Play is a simple and fun way for children to learn many life skills. For autistic children, engaging in guided play activities can be particularly helpful in building their social skills. Through play, children learn to navigate turn-taking, manage emotions related to winning or losing, and understand the dynamics of following rules.

You can engage in structured play with your child using toys to act out various scenarios. For example, organising a tea party with stuffed animals or using a toy set to create a pretend farm or airport allows your child to practice social interactions in a controlled environment.

Use simple cues like "My turn" and "Your turn" to guide your child during playtime. When they follow through, use praise such as "Good job taking turns" or "Well done for sticking to the rules." This approach reinforces positive behaviour and keeps the learning process enjoyable.

Tailor the games according to your child's age and interests. Younger children might enjoy simple movement games with few instructions, like "Simon Says" or "Hide and Seek," and older children might like games like "Connect Four" or "Uno" to practise turn-taking, following rules and navigating winning and losing respectfully.

Praise

Positive reinforcement can significantly impact an autistic child’s ability to learn and maintain new skills. Offering praise and encouragement when your child engages positively with others helps to reinforce these behaviours.

When you observe your child sharing, cooperating, or engaging positively with others, immediately acknowledge their good behaviour with praise and a smile. For instance, if your child shares toys with a peer, saying something like "That was very kind of you to share your toys!" can encourage this positive social behaviour to be repeated in the future.

Role-play

Role-playing is an effective technique for preparing your child for real-life social interactions. It offers a safe space to explore different social scenarios and appropriate responses.

Before attending social events or playdates, you can role-play anticipated scenarios with your child. This could involve practising introductions, conversations about common interests, or how to ask someone to play a game. For older children, role-playing can extend to solving social dilemmas, such as deciding how to share a last piece of cake or what to do if there is a disagreement during a game.

Social skills training

Structured social skills training within therapy or an alternative setting can benefit autistic children, providing them with tools to interact with others. These programs should teach emotional recognition, appropriate social responses, and peer interaction skills in a structured environment. 

Visual supports and social stories 

Visual supports can be a powerful tool in helping autistic children understand and follow social rules. Use pictures, symbols, or words to help your child remember how to act in different social situations. For instance, visual cue cards can depict steps involved in a greeting, or photos can show different play options available during recess.

You can create customised visual supports based on your child’s preferences and learning style. For instance, if your child enjoys drawing, encourage them to create their own visual aids to reinforce learning and make the process more engaging.

Families, therapists or educators can create social stories to explain everyday interactions to autistic children, such as having a conversation, joining a game, or participating in a class activity. These stories help children with autism understand and recall appropriate social cues and responses in different scenarios. For example, a social story about joining a game should explain the steps of asking another child if you can play, waiting for a response, and what to do if the answer is yes or no.