Autism and bullying

Bullying happens when someone repeatedly and intentionally uses words or actions to upset, scare, threaten, or hurt another person or their belongings, reputation, or friendships.

It’s often done by people who have more power or influence, aiming to make the other person feel weaker or helpless. This kind of behaviour can really affect the victim’s wellbeing and make them feel unsafe and less confident.

Bullying is a significant issue that affects both autistic and neurotypical people. Unfortunately, children and teenagers on the autism spectrum are at greater risk of being bullied, particularly in the school years. Learn how to address bullying and support autistic children affected, as well as how to empower them to support themselves.

Understanding bullying

Research from the University of New South Wales has found that people with autism are the most bullied group within the neurodivergent population. As autistic children transition from primary to high school, their likelihood of being bullied increases, something parents, carers and educators should be aware of. 

Understanding what bullying can look like is key to intervening early and providing appropriate support:

• Verbal bullying: Teasing, name-calling and/or threatening another person.
• Social bullying: Excluding someone from groups, spreading rumours, or manipulating friendships.
• Physical bullying: Hitting, pushing or injuring someone or damaging their belongings.
• Cyberbullying: Using digital platforms to hack someone’s accounts, catfish them or harass or humiliate them (e.g., sending aggressive messages, spreading false information, sharing private information without consent). 

Bullying can impact many areas of an autistic child or teenager’s life and development:

• Self-esteem: Bullying can cause an autistic child or teenager to develop poor self-esteem and lack confidence in their abilities.
• Social skills: Experiences of bullying might cause autistic children to withdraw socially, isolating them and impacting their social skill development.
• Academic performance: The stress and distraction caused by bullying can lead to difficulties with learning, school attendance and academic achievement.
• Mental health: Persistent bullying can lead to anxiety, stress, depression and suicidality. 

Signs of bullying

Recognising the signs of bullying in autistic children can be challenging, as they might not always be able to communicate their feelings clearly or understand that they are being bullied. Here are several indicators that parents and carers should watch out for:

• Physical signs: Unexplained injuries, frequently lost or damaged personal items.
• Emotional signs: Mood swings, stress, social withdrawal, or aggression.
• Behavioural signs: Reluctance or refusal to attend school, avoidance of social situations, or sudden drops in academic performance. Often, unexpected changes in mood or behaviour occur that can’t otherwise be explained. 

If a child is being cyberbullied, they may also show these signs:

• Distress during or after using digital devices
• Avoids discussing their online behaviour or gets upset when asked
• Protective and secretive behaviour concerning their digital interactions

Preventing and addressing bullying

Preventing and addressing bullying requires a collaborative and proactive approach. Here are some effective strategies for parents and carers to address and prevent bullying:

At home

Encourage your child to share their feelings and experiences without judgment. Families should tailor this to match their child's communication style, whether that’s direct conversations, visual aids like picture books, or nonverbal communication (e.g., drawing).

Monitor your child’s social media interactions and online activity to catch early signs of bullying. Teach children about the importance of online privacy, the risks of sharing personal information, and what to do when they experience online harassment.

Help your child develop communication skills and social behaviours that can help them self-advocate and prevent, address, and report bullying. Reinforce their understanding of these self-advocacy skills through role-play or social stories. Help the child know about safe places and appropriate actions to take when bullied.

At school

Schools play a key role in preventing and addressing bullying. Many schools have anti-bullying procedures, but these vary from school to school and are not always enforced as strictly as they should be. Ask your child’s teacher or school staff what anti-bullying measures they have in place and who is responsible for enforcing them. 

Here are some additional strategies that can help to address bullying at school if they are not being implemented already:

• "No tolerance" policy: Schools should have strict policies against bullying, with clear consequences for those who bully others, which are enforced consistently.
• Safe environments: Designated safe areas and teacher-supervised activities in the playground that children can access every recess and lunchtime. 
• Buddy systems and group activities: Programs like these can help integrate autistic children socially and reduce feelings of isolation.
• Bullying prevention programs: Programs that promote understanding and appreciation of autism and neurodiversity can create a more inclusive environment.
• Support services: Ensure that students have access to counselling and support groups where they can seek help.

When autistic children bully others

In cases where an autistic child might be bullying others, a proactive approach is also key. Communicating with the child to help them understand what bullying is and why it is hurtful is an important first step. Determining why the child is bullying others is also important; this can be determined through discussions with the child or observing their behaviour. 

Ensure a consistent strategy at home and school to address bullying, with clear consequences for poor behaviour and rewards for positive behaviour changes. Work closely with school staff to create this strategy, with the ultimate goal of encouraging and enforcing appropriate behaviour. 

If the child continues to bully or shows other behaviours of concern, seek professional support.

Immediate/crisis support

If you or someone you know needs urgent support, please contact one of the following services:

• Lifeline: Provides all Australians experiencing a personal crisis with access to 24-hour crisis support and suicide prevention services.
• Kids Helpline: A free, private and confidential 24/7 phone and online counselling service for young people aged 5 to 25.
• 1800RESPECT: The national sexual assault, domestic and family violence counselling service for anyone in Australia.

In an emergency, call 000.