Grandparents and extended family

Grandparents and extended family play an important role in the lives of autistic adults, offering a wealth of emotional and practical support. 

This support can significantly boost the wellbeing and development of their grandchildren. Navigating this role, however, can be challenging, as it requires understanding, patience, and a willingness to adapt to new ways of interacting and supporting both their adult children and their adult grandchildren.

Embracing a supportive role

Grandparents and extended family often need to navigate the complexities of supporting their adult children who are managing the challenges of parenting an autistic adult. The best approach is to be supportive and follow the parents' lead. It's a stressful situation for everyone involved, and grandparents and extended family can provide invaluable support by listening and offering the type of help their children need. It's important for grandparents to update their parenting strategies, recognising that their children are parenting in a different environment than they did.

Here are some simple, practical ways grandparents and extended family can help:

• Drop off a meal once a week: Providing a homemade meal can be a thoughtful way to lighten the load.
• Offer a break: Take turns spending time with the autistic family member, giving parents a much-needed break.
• Organise outings: Arrange to take the parents or the autistic individual out for a fun activity or a quiet day out, giving everyone a change of scenery.
• Lend a hand with chores: Help with household tasks like cleaning, shopping, or running errands to make life a bit easier for the parents.
• Join therapy sessions: If possible, participate in therapy sessions to understand better how to support your autistic family member.

By embracing these supportive roles, grandparents and extended family can make a big difference, helping to create a more supportive and understanding family environment.

Educating themselves about autism

One of the most helpful steps an extended family can take is to educate themselves about autism. Understanding the condition can help them provide better support and create a more inclusive and understanding family environment. Autism: What Next? offers comprehensive information that can benefit everyone involved.

Understanding specific needs

Each autistic individual is unique, and family members must understand their loved one’s specific needs and preferences. This includes familiarising themselves with their loved one’s diagnosis and any professional advice given. By involving themselves in therapy and daily routines, family members can learn how to interact effectively and supportively.

Effective communication

Effective communication is key to building a strong relationship with an autistic family member. Understanding how they communicate and reciprocate appropriately can make a significant difference. Family members should learn the best ways to communicate with their autistic loved one, which may include using visual aids, assistive technology and apps, being clear and concise, and being patient.

If grandparents or extended family have worries and concerns, it’s great to talk about them together. An open, constructive approach can help the whole family have happier, healthier and stronger relationships.

Organising inclusive social events

Social events can be overwhelming for autistic individuals, so it’s essential to organise gatherings in a way that they can manage and enjoy. This might mean keeping events small, choosing quieter settings, and being mindful of sensory sensitivities. By creating an environment that caters to their grandchild’s needs, family members can help them feel more comfortable and included.

Navigating emotions and building support

Family members naturally have their own emotions and expectations regarding their autistic loved one. It's important to acknowledge and address these feelings. Open communication within the family can help everyone understand each other's perspectives and work together to provide the best support possible. Grandparents and extended family should feel free to express their feelings and seek support if needed.

Building supportive relationships within the extended family is crucial. Sharing knowledge and experiences can help family members understand autism better and provide more effective support. Resources like this information sheet for grandparents by Amaze can be particularly helpful in this regard.

Remember, with the right approach, grandparents and extended family can significantly positively impact the lives of their autistic loved ones and the broader family dynamic.