Navigating sex education for autistic adults

Sexual health is a key part of everyone's life, including autistic adults.

It's important that individuals get the right information and support to help them understand and enjoy their sexual health. Below, we explore important topics such as pornography, sex work, sex aids, and finding pleasure, all tailored to the needs of autistic adults.

Specialised sexual education

Every autistic adult is unique, with their own set of challenges and needs when it comes to sexuality. Some might find it tough to handle sensory issues or to read social signals, which makes personalised sexual education really important. This kind of education should help them understand and enjoy their sexuality safely and comfortably. Autistic adults can access specialised sexual education through a variety of channels tailored to their unique needs:

• Planet Puberty: While Planet Puberty is designed for the puberty-age group, its resources can also be beneficial for autistic adults seeking to better understand relationships, personal boundaries, and online safety.
• Disability support organisations and autism advocacy groups: These groups often provide workshops, seminars, and resources on sexual health tailored for autistic individuals.
• Health care providers: Professionals such as doctors and therapists, especially those experienced with developmental disabilities, can offer personalised advice on sexual health.
• Other online platforms: There are many websites and online courses dedicated to sexual education for autistic adults, providing accessible and specialised information. Family Planning NSW and SECCA are two examples.
• Peer-led workshops and groups: Community centres or support groups might organise sessions on sexual health, providing a relatable and comfortable setting for learning.
• Private counselling and therapy: Therapists and counsellors specialising in sexuality and disability can provide a private setting for personalised guidance.

Choosing the right resource depends on the individual’s comfort level and specific learning needs. 

Understanding pornography

Many adults, including those on the autism spectrum, may use pornography as a way to explore their sexuality. However, it's crucial to do so with awareness and responsibility. Here are some tips for watching porn safely and responsibly:

• Understand what you're watching: It's crucial to remember that pornography is a depiction of sexual acts meant for entertainment, not education. It often portrays exaggerated and sometimes unrealistic scenarios that might not reflect real-life sexual relationships.
• Stay safe online: Protect your personal information and privacy when browsing adult content. Never share personal details like your full name, address, or financial information on adult sites. Use reliable, secure websites that respect user privacy. Avoid clicking on suspicious links that could lead to malware or phishing sites. 
• Use filters and tools: If you find that certain content is upsetting or not to your taste, use content filters to avoid triggering material. Many websites offer tools to help users control what they see.
• Educate yourself: While porn can be a source of entertainment, it’s important to supplement it with actual sex education. This can provide a more balanced understanding of human sexuality, relationships, and consent. Websites like Family Planning NSW offer comprehensive sexual health information that can complement your understanding of real-life sexual activities and health.
• Talk about it: If you have questions or feelings about what you've seen, consider discussing them with a close friend, a support group, or a professional who can offer advice and perspective.

More information and resources

For more guidance on navigating adult content safely and responsibly, you might consider checking out the following resources:

• eSafety Commissioner: This is an official government website offering extensive resources on internet safety, including how to manage online risks and protect personal privacy while online.
• ReachOut Australia: Offers information and support for young adults on a variety of issues, including relationships and online safety. Their resources are youth-friendly and very accessible.
• Family Planning NSW: Provides comprehensive sexual and reproductive health services and education. They have resources and services that include education about safe and healthy sexual practices.
• Headspace: Headspace is a mental health organisation focused on young adults, providing support on issues including relationships and personal well-being. Their resources also include guidance on safe internet use and managing online relationships.
• Sexual Health Australia: Offers counselling and education on sexual health issues, including navigating online sexual content responsibly.

Sex work

Navigating the topic of sex work can be complex, especially for autistic adults and their parents who are looking to understand or explore this aspect of sexuality safely and responsibly. Here’s a focused guide to help autistic adults and their families approach this subject with informed caution and respect.

• Legal awareness: First and foremost, it’s essential to understand the legal context of sex work in your area, as laws vary widely by region. Familiarise yourself with local regulations concerning sex work to ensure that any engagement is within legal boundaries. Additionally, consider consulting a legal expert who can provide clear, confidential advice about the legalities of engaging with sex workers.
• Safety and consent: Understanding and respecting consent is vital in any sexual interaction. Ensure that all parties involved fully understand and agree to the nature of the interaction, with consent being clear and enthusiastic, and recognising that it can be withdrawn at any moment. Discuss and adhere to safe sexual practices, including the use of protection to prevent sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and regular health check-ups.
• Choosing to engage with a sex worker: For autistic adults considering the services of a sex worker, there are some respectful and safe approaches to keep in mind. Use reputable agencies or verified platforms that prioritise the safety and consent of all parties. Be clear about your needs, boundaries, and expectations. If verbal communication is challenging, consider preparing in advance or using written methods to communicate effectively.
• For parents educating their adult child: Parents looking to educate their autistic adult child about engaging with sex workers should approach the topic with sensitivity and openness. Provide comprehensive education on sexuality that includes discussions about sex work, emphasising respect, consent, and legality. Consider involving a professional, such as a therapist or a sexual health educator, who can offer tailored advice and information in a manner that’s accessible and understandable.

Using sex aids

Sex aids can enhance the sexual experience for autistic adults, particularly those with specific sensory preferences or challenges with physical intimacy. 

Types of sex aids

• Vibrators and stimulators: These are useful for exploring different sensations.
• Lubricants: Help reduce discomfort, making sex more enjoyable.
• Dildos and masturbatory aids: Allow for personal exploration at a comfortable pace.
• Sensory toys: Designed to cater to unique sensory needs.

Choosing the right sex aids

• Material and texture: Opt for body-safe, hypoallergenic materials like silicone.
• Size and Intensity: Look for products that are comfortable in size with adjustable settings.
• Ease of use: Consider how easy the product is to handle, especially for those with coordination challenges.

Safe use of sex aids

• Hygiene: Clean sex aids before and after each use to prevent infections.
• Privacy and storage: Keep them in a private, clean, and secure place.
• Instruction and guidance: Follow instructions carefully and consult experts when needed.

Creating a safe space for enjoyment

It's crucial to have a safe and relaxed environment for exploring sexuality. This means:

• Talking openly: It helps to have honest chats about what you like, what you don’t, and how to ensure everything is consensual.
• Access to good information: Having resources that explain the body, sexual health, and how to have sex safely can make a big difference.
• Support networks: Having support from medical professionals, therapists, or groups can provide extra help and answer any tricky questions.

Sexual health is an essential part of life for autistic adults. Talking openly about topics like pornography, sex work, sex aids, and finding pleasure can help them explore their sexuality in safe and positive ways. Education and resources need to be supportive and easy to understand, giving autistic adults the knowledge they need to navigate their sexual health confidently and safely.