Navigating sexuality and gender for autistic children

Sexuality, which relates to how we feel about our bodies and interact with others romantically and intimately, is a key part of growing up. 

Autistic teens might face more challenges in this area even though they develop physically just like their peers. They often need extra help to manage these complexities associated with growing up.

Why sex education is important

It’s important for autistic teens to have access to sex education that matches their developmental level. This education should cover a range of topics such as changes during puberty, personal hygiene, how to interact socially, contraception, understanding sexual behaviour, and knowing what’s appropriate and inappropriate in romantic interactions. Tailoring this education to their learning needs helps them understand these crucial concepts effectively. Without this knowledge, they face real risks like unwanted pregnancies, being vulnerable to abuse, or being misunderstood by those around them.

For parents and carers, it's essential to provide an open, inclusive, and supportive environment. This means being open to conversations about different identities and expressions without judgment. Offering your child books, resources, and access to supportive communities can be very beneficial. It’s important to reassure them that it’s okay to question and explore their identity and that you’re there to support them regardless of their journey.

Gender identity and autism

Autistic teens might think about their gender identity differently than other teens. Many find they don’t fit into conventional categories like male or female and might consider other identities such as transgender, non-binary, or gender fluid. It’s helpful for them to talk these feelings through with parents/carers, family, friends and medical professionals who are supportive. This can help them to better understand their own identity, which might change over time or remain fluid.

Respect and understanding are key. For instance, using correct pronouns and names that correspond to your child's gender identity validates their feelings and promotes psychological wellbeing. Encourage them to express themselves in ways that feel most authentic to them, whether through clothing, hobbies, or social interactions.

Setting up a network of support during the teenage years is important. It helps reduce confusion and stress as they figure out their identity among other life challenges.

Autistic individuals and sexual orientation

A higher percentage of autistic people identify as gay, lesbian, or other sexual orientations compared to the general population. As they grow and learn about themselves, they might start to question and explore their sexual orientation. Having supportive people to talk to about these topics can make this stage of life easier.

Resources like the LGBTQIA+ section on the Aspect website and organisations like QLife provide support and information. Similarly, in the UK, Ambitious About Autism offers articles and stories that can help autistic LGBTQIA+ youth understand their experiences better.

Many autistic people are open to exploring various gender identities, choosing what feels right rather than sticking to traditional views based on appearance or biology. Some people's views on their gender might change over time. This idea of being gender fluid means they don’t limit themselves to one fixed gender identity.

The link between autism and gender diversity

Recent research highlights a significant link between gender diversity and autism. A substantial study, the largest of its kind, has found that individuals who do not identify with the sex assigned to them at birth are three to six times more likely to be autistic than their cisgender counterparts. Additionally, those who are gender-diverse often report traits of autism and suspect they might have undiagnosed autism.

The term 'gender diverse' serves as an umbrella description for individuals whose gender identities, such as transgender, non-binary, or gender-queer, differ from their assigned sex at birth. 'Cisgender' refers to people whose gender identity aligns with their sex assigned at birth.

Uncovering this link highlights the need for broader understanding and support within both the autistic and gender-diverse communities, developing more inclusive practices and support systems.

Promoting a supportive environment

If you're exploring your gender and sexuality, it's good to get information from reliable sources and talk to professionals who really understand these topics. It's also important for families and healthcare providers to be supportive and open, making sure they listen and respect your personal feelings and choices.