Navigating social relationships

Friendships are important in children's and teenagers' social and emotional development.

These relationships do more than just provide a source of fun and companionship; they are essential in helping young individuals navigate the complexities of social interactions and emotional management. For all young people, including those on the autism spectrum, friendships can significantly boost confidence, provide experiences in managing emotions, and develop negotiation, cooperation, and problem-solving skills.

Autism and friendships

For autistic teenagers, the desire for friendship is often as strong as it is for their neurotypical peers, however, they might face unique challenges that require additional support to initiate and maintain these relationships. 

Autistic teens exhibit a wide range of abilities and challenges regarding social interaction. Some may find social engagement highly challenging and interact primarily to fulfil specific needs (like reaching for an item), others might strongly desire to connect with various people. This unpredictability can be attributed to differences in sensory processing, cognitive functioning, and personal comfort with social norms.

Challenges in social relationships

Communication

Some people on the autism spectrum often experience significant hurdles in both verbal and non-verbal communication:

• Starting and keeping conversations: Initiating or maintaining a dialogue can be difficult because you must understand how conversations flow, including when to speak or change the subject appropriately.
• Interpreting nonverbal cues: Nonverbal communication, such as body language, facial expressions, and eye contact, provides essential context to what is being said. Some individuals with autism can often misinterpret or completely miss these cues.
• Focus on specific interests: Conversations may be challenging if they stray away from subjects that the individual with autism finds engaging.
• Literal interpretations: Idioms, sarcasm, and metaphors are often taken literally, leading to misunderstandings.
• Sensory sensitivity: Overwhelming sensory input, such as loud environments or physical contact like handshaking, can make social situations unsettling.

Hypersensitivity and sensory overload

Many on the autism spectrum have heightened sensory sensitivities. This can mean that seemingly everyday environments can be overwhelming due to the intense reception of sounds, sights, or touch. This hypersensitivity can complicate social interactions in busy or loud settings and may lead to a preference for quieter, less crowded spaces.

Perspective-taking and empathy

Understanding others' perspectives and emotions is another area where some individuals with autism might struggle. This can affect their ability to predict or understand other people's actions and reactions, leading to potential social misunderstandings or conflicts.

Flexibility in social settings

Adapting behaviour to different social contexts is a further challenge. For example, how someone interacts with peers might differ significantly from interactions with family members or teachers. Recognising and adjusting to these different social expectations requires a level of social understanding and flexibility that can be difficult for those with autism.

Strategies for friendships and social relationships

Supporting an autistic teenager in making friends involves more than just putting them in social situations; it requires an approach tailored to their needs and interests. Here are some practical strategies that can help:

• Identify interests and strengths: Start by understanding what your teen enjoys and excels at. This could involve observing their play patterns or discussing their interests directly. Use this information to help them find peer groups that share these interests, such as clubs or special interest groups at school or in the community.
• Create opportunities for interaction: Facilitate situations where your child can meet and spend time with peers. This might include inviting friends to your home, organising outings, or enrolling your child in activities where they can meet potential friends. Remember to choose environments and activities that your child finds comfortable and enjoyable, which can range from structured group activities to more open-ended play dates.
• Utilise school resources: High school can be a significant social hub. Engage with teachers to identify peers who might share similar interests with your child or have shown a friendly interest in them. Teachers can also provide insights into how your child interacts with others in a school setting and suggest appropriate social opportunities.
• Plan suitable activities: Tailor social activities to your child's age and preferences. Teenagers might prefer bonding over shared interests like video games, sports, or creative projects like baking or crafts.
• Consider home as a safe space: Some teenagers feel more secure and open in their own homes, where they can control their environment and where hosting activities at home is preferable. If your child is more adventurous or is concerned about sharing personal space, external outings like shopping centres, museums, or other interest-based locations can be excellent alternatives.
• Use community resources: Many communities offer a variety of clubs and activities that can cater to specific interests such as astronomy, chess, Lego, or computer coding. Participating in these structured activities can be particularly beneficial for autistic children, providing them with a routine and predictable environment that can make social interactions less daunting.‍

The impact of social challenges

Anxiety and isolation

Difficulties with social interaction can lead to increased anxiety and feelings of isolation. The stress of trying to navigate complex social environments can be considerable, leading some individuals to withdraw from social interactions altogether, which can compound feelings of loneliness and anxiety.

Increased risk of bullying

Studies indicate that individuals with autism are at a higher risk of being bullied than those with other types of disabilities. The social challenges they face, such as misunderstanding social cues or having atypical responses to social interactions, can make them targets for bullying, further exacerbating social anxiety and isolation.

Autistic teenagers may face distinct challenges in forming and maintaining friendships, but they can successfully develop these important relationships with thoughtful support and strategic planning. The key is understanding their unique needs and providing opportunities to interact with peers in the most comfortable environments.