Understanding social relationships

Helping your child with autism make friends and improve their social skills can be tricky.

It's all about knowing the challenges they face, using real-life examples, and making sure they feel supported both at home and at school.‍

Understanding social challenges for autistic children

Autistic children often face many challenges in social interaction and communication. These difficulties can be expressed in various ways, such as appearing withdrawn, showing little interest in making friends, struggling to initiate conversations, and approaching social situations in unconventional ways. Some children with autism will also be very rule-driven, strictly following established rules and not having any flexibility. 

Developing social skills at home and school

Parents/carers and educators can use the following strategies and tools to help develop social skills both at home and at school:

• Starting small: Begin with basic social skills and gradually progress to more complex interactions. Practice these skills in various settings and with different people to help generalise them.
• ‍Real-life examples: Use real-life scenarios and everyday examples to make social rules relatable. Keep it simple. 
• ‍Visual aids and technology: Use apps, visual aids and prompts to help support communication. Personalise these where possible, including names and people who are a part of the child’s life. 
• ‍Understanding emotions: Start by expanding your child’s emotional vocabulary beyond basic emotions like happy, sad, or angry. Visual aids, such as cards with facial expressions, can help autistic children better understand and express feelings.
• ‍Participatory activities: Activities like drawing faces or using puppets can be fun ways to teach about facial cues and expressions. Watching cartoons and discussing exaggerated facial expressions can also be helpful.
• ‍Social entry points: Help teach your child how to enter games and interact in social situations. Explain the basic rules of social engagement, like understanding the concept of winning and losing. Giving them scripts or conversation ideas and rehearsing potential social scenarios can help boost their confidence. 
• ‍Building resilience and coping strategies: Teach your child to cope with losing and making mistakes by demonstrating that everyone makes mistakes and that mistakes can be resolved. Using tangible items like a 'HELP' card can aid children who struggle to verbalise their feelings during stressful situations.
• ‍Role-playing: Using role-play or simulations to rehearse social interactions can prepare your child for real-life social situations. This can include playing board games that require turn-taking, practising conversations, or handling conflicts calmly and logically.
• ‍Advanced social concepts: This comes later and might not be suitable for all children, but introducing concepts like "theory of mind" – the understanding that others have thoughts, feelings, and perspectives different from one's own – can help children better understand social interactions. Start by comparing and discussing differences between family members or friends.‍
• Seek professional help: Speak to a psychologist, OT or behaviour therapist about social skills activities and groups. They can provide a structured and safe environment for children to learn and develop their social skills.

By implementing these strategies, you can help autistic children cope with and thrive in social situations, building meaningful relationships and enhancing their social interactions.

Social inclusion and friendships at school

Creating inclusive educational environments is essential in developing social skills and friendships among students, especially for those with autism. Schools play a significant role in shaping these social relationships, particularly in common areas like playgrounds where much of a child's social interactions take place. Here are some practical strategies schools can adopt to enhance inclusivity and encourage positive social interactions.

Creating an inclusive playground

Playgrounds are central to the development of social skills in children. To make these spaces more inclusive, schools can try these strategies:

• Structured games and supervision: Introduce fun, structured games that are simple to understand and include all children. Adult supervision can ensure fair play and help children understand the rules, which is essential for them to feel involved and successful.
• ‍Communication tools: Provide children with effective communication tools, such as digital devices or picture communication books. These tools help facilitate interaction among all children, particularly those who experience difficulties with verbal communication.
• Accessible play areas: Modify the playground to be accessible to children with physical or mobility challenges. Ensure playgrounds are fenced and safe for children. 
• ‍Adult supervision: Spread out adult supervisors across the playground, rather than congregating in one area. This helps monitor all children effectively and intervene when necessary to guide interactions and facilitate inclusion.
• ‍Interest-based groups and activities: Encourage children to form clubs around popular interests like technology, arts, Lego or specific hobbies. These groups provide structured settings where children can interact socially and build friendships based on common interests.
• School buddy and peer mentors: Implementing buddy systems or mentor programs can be an effective way to support autistic children in navigating social situations. These systems can provide guidance and support by pairing autistic children with peers or adults who can help them understand social cues and interactions. This, in turn, can help them gain confidence and learn appropriate social behaviours. Regular interaction with a buddy or mentor also allows for the practice of social skills in a real-world context, which can help lay the groundwork for building friendships.
• ‍Drama and role-playing: Drama classes provide a wonderful opportunity for children with autism to improve their social skills by observing and practising different social interactions. Through acting and role-playing, children can learn to understand various social cues and respond appropriately in different situations. These classes can also help enhance verbal and non-verbal communication skills, including understanding body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice.

Collaboration between home and school

Building a strong partnership between home and school is crucial for the social development of autistic children. One effective approach is using communication books to share observations and strategies between parents and teachers, ensuring everyone is on the same page about the child's social interactions and progress. 

Encouraging children to discuss their daily social interactions with their parents in a structured way can help parents better understand and support their social experiences. These practical strategies not only enhance communication but also help create a more inclusive school environment where every child, particularly those with autism, can develop meaningful friendships and social skills.