Autistic masking at school

Autism masking, also known as camouflaging, is where autistic individuals consciously or unconsciously alter their behaviour to better reflect social norms, blend in more successfully with their peers or appear more ‘neurotypical.’

This might involve suppressing ‘autistic’ traits and behaviours, imitating others or preparing scripted responses for social interactions. While masking can help navigate social situations, it often comes at a significant personal cost. By understanding what masking is and why autistic people do it, parents/carers, educators and autistic people themselves can begin to seek support. 

How masking can present

Social mimicking

‍This involves imitating or copying the social behaviours, gestures, and mannerisms of others in an effort to fit in or navigate social interactions. This can include mimicking facial expressions, body language, speech patterns, and other social cues. While social mimicking can help individuals with autism blend in and reduce social anxiety, it may also lead to challenges. For instance, the person might feel exhausted from constantly trying to keep up with social expectations, or they might struggle with understanding the underlying meanings and emotions behind the behaviours they are mimicking.

Scripting

Autistic individuals might prepare and rehearse conversations or interactions they expect to have with other people. While scripting can reduce anxiety, it limits spontaneous interaction, and when situations don’t follow the expected script, autistic people can become very stressed.

Eye contact

Forcing eye contact during conversations is another common form of masking. Though it might seem like an autistic person is paying attention if they are making eye contact, forcing eye contact can be incredibly stressful and actually make focusing harder.

Masking emotions

To appear calm and regulated, autistic children might hide how they are really feeling, which can cause a lot of internal stress. This can lead to emotional distress and meltdowns at home or burnout in the long term.

Camouflaging

Similar to social mimicking, camouflaging involves autistic people pretending to enjoy the interests or hobbies of their peers to blend in, often at the expense of hiding their actual preferences and interests.

Observing

Some autistic children prefer to always have a passive role in social settings, observing and copying others subtly. This can make it difficult for them to have meaningful interactions with others and form friends. 

Information masking

This involves a person with autism hiding their talents or deliberately underperforming to avoid standing out or being perceived as different.

The primary reason autistic individuals mask is to feel accepted and avoid negative experiences in social situations, such as bullying or exclusion, which can be beneficial in the short term. However, in the long term, masking often leads to internal emotional struggles, mental exhaustion and a loss of self-identity, leading to mental ill-health, burnout and withdrawal from learning and the community. 

Impacts of masking

Missing out on support

Teachers, families and peers may misinterpret the needs of an autistic child who masks, assuming they are coping better with the demands of school, socialising and everyday life than they actually are. This misunderstanding can lead to inadequate support and further isolation. This creates a barrier to forming deeper connections and relationships with other people and might cause a person with autism to miss out on the academic and social support they need.

Mood and behaviour issues

When an autistic child masks all day, particularly at school, they will become very exhausted and are more likely to experience mood swings, meltdowns and shutdowns at home. 

Mental health challenges

Chronic stress from masking can lead to anxiety, depression, and burnout. The mental toll of constantly analysing how to act or speak 'correctly' can be overwhelming and have long-term impacts on an individual’s mental wellbeing. 

Consistent masking can also lead to what is known as "autistic burnout," a state of physical and mental exhaustion that is so serious it affects an autistic individual’s ability to function in daily life. 

Delayed diagnosis

Masking can hide autistic traits so well that an individual’s autism diagnosis might be delayed. This means they go longer without the intervention and support they need, affecting their quality of life. This is a particular concern for autistic girls, who are more likely to mask than boys. 

Supporting an autistic child who masks

Whether a child intentionally masks or does it without realising, it’s important they receive support from their parents, caregivers and educators for their mental health and for developing a positive sense of self:

Understand masking

The first step in providing support is to understand what autism masking is and why your child does it. Spend time observing your child and talk to them about masking, what it is and why they do it. Recognising what triggers a child with autism to mask can help families and educators create strategies to support them.

Communicate with your child

Masking can impact a child’s sense of self and ability to open up to others. It is important to have regular discussions with your child about their identity, likes, dislikes, strengths, and values. Talk to them about how they feel in situations where they find themselves masking and why they feel it helps them. 

Work with your child’s school

Schools play a key role in children's development and wellbeing. However, a lack of awareness about autism masking and its impacts can cause it to go unnoticed by teachers and school staff, who may not recognise that an autistic child is struggling.

It’s essential that families work proactively with their child’s school to raise awareness of masking. Educate teachers and school staff about masking, how it impacts your child and how they can provide support. Building a positive relationship with your child’s school helps them to create a positive environment where your child will feel supported and understood.

Adjust expectations

Recognise and adjust your expectations. Understand that social interactions can be challenging for people with autism and that it's okay for your child to step back when needed. In fact, taking breaks to recharge from socialising is vital for the long-term wellbeing of autistic people. 

Consider energy accounting

A practical tool for managing the demands of masking is energy accounting. This technique involves autistic people monitoring and managing their daily energy levels so they don’t feel the need to mask as often or can recognise when they’re approaching burnout. Using visual aids, like charts or diagrams, can help your child understand their energy levels and plan their day accordingly to prevent burnout and make their routine more manageable.

Prioritise breaks

Encourage your child to take breaks during their day and engage in activities that help them relax and regain energy. This could be reading, drawing, or simply spending time in a quiet space. Planning for social breaks before and after big social events can also be beneficial, allowing them to participate without becoming overwhelmed.

Find a balance

While masking might be necessary at times, it’s important that it is a conscious choice rather than a compulsion. Help your child understand when and where they choose to mask and identify ‘safe places’ where they can freely express themselves without judgment. This awareness allows them to have control over their behaviour and social interactions and can reduce the burden of constant masking.

Encourage authenticity

Where possible, your child should always be encouraged to express their true self in environments where they feel safe and accepted. This might be at home, with a close friend, or in a community group where they share interests with others. Finding these safe spaces where they can be themselves without the need to mask is vital for their mental health and self-esteem.

Maintain positivity

It's important to maintain a hopeful outlook for your child’s future. Many autistic individuals find that as they mature, they feel more comfortable with their identity and feel less of a need to mask. They may also find a group of people or workplace that is accepting of their autism, and where they feel they can be their authentic selves. Celebrating their unique traits and encouraging them to embrace their true selves can encourage positive self-image and confidence.

Seek professional support 

Consider therapies that can support your child in handling anxiety and other emotional challenges that are leading them to mask or causing mental ill-health. Cognitive behavioural therapy, for example, can be beneficial.

Choosing to mask or unmask

Sometimes, an autistic child or teenager might find it helpful or even necessary to mask. This can play a big role in fitting in socially, building friendships, and achieving success at school or work. In places that aren’t very understanding of neurodiversity, masking can act as a protective shield, helping them avoid negative reactions or discrimination. It can also be a way to steer clear of bullying or feeling left out.

Ideally, autistic people should be able to express their authentic selves without fear of judgement or isolation. Encouraging children to mask can inadvertently send a message that their natural way of being is unacceptable, which can impact their self-esteem and mental health. 

For some, masking can be a strategic choice, empowering them to decide when and how they interact with a world that may not fully understand or accept their autistic traits. For others, unmasking, or being authentic, allows them to interact with the world in a way that is true to their nature and can create a greater sense of self-acceptance and belonging. And for others, masking might not be something they have ever done or are able to do, for various reasons. 

The ultimate goal should be to create an environment where autistic individuals feel safe and accepted, with or without masking who they are. By encouraging schools, workplaces and the broader community to be more inclusive and accepting of differences, autistic people will feel encouraged to be their authentic selves.