Loneliness in autism

Loneliness is something that everyone experiences from time to time, but recent research highlights how autistic individuals can experience it more frequently and intensely. 

Although myths and misconceptions encourage the idea that autistic people do not want or enjoy social connections, people with autism value relationships just as much as their neurotypical peers. However, autistic people are more likely to experience loneliness, which is linked to poor health and wellbeing outcomes.

Understanding loneliness

Loneliness occurs when someone lacks fulfilling connections with others. Autistic people might enjoy solitude, but loneliness is different—it involves a desire for social interaction that is not met. This can happen due to difficulties in socialising, feeling misunderstood, or being unable to be yourself around others.

Things that can contribute to loneliness include bereavement, relationship breakdowns, unemployment, moving to new areas, living alone, long-term illnesses, and mental health difficulties. Social anxiety, fear of rejection, experiences of bullying and lack of support also play significant roles. 

Here are some additional things that can put autistic people at a greater risk of experiencing loneliness:

Myths and misconceptions about autism

Research has dispelled the outdated belief that autistic people lack the motivation to form meaningful social connections. Instead, it shows that social environments often exclude people with autism, both consciously and unconsciously. 

Social barriers

Autistic adults can experience social obstacles to forming meaningful relationships, including difficulties connecting with neurotypical people, lack of shared interests, and feeling misunderstood and unaccepted by society. High-intensity social situations, like being in large groups or busy offices, are overwhelming and often require extended time alone to recover from.

Sensory sensitivities

Autistic individuals often process sensory information differently, leading to sensory overload in too loud, bright, or chaotic environments. These sensory sensitivities can make certain interactions and environments exhausting and lead to a need for solitude to recover. However, this solitude differs from the loneliness they experience due to social isolation. Creating more welcoming sensory environments can help reduce these barriers.

Research into autistic people’s experience of loneliness identified a direct link between sensory processing differences and increased loneliness and mental health issues. This link was particularly strong among autistic individuals, suggesting that their unique sensory experiences contribute significantly to their feelings of loneliness.

Societal and environmental barriers

Along with the emotional distress caused by loneliness, autistic individuals face practical barriers to social connection. These include financial constraints, lack of accessible community spaces, and difficulties navigating noisy urban environments. With higher rates of unemployment and financial hardship in the autistic population, meeting and connecting with people at work or at social events that cost money to attend can be more challenging.

The effects of loneliness can be significant, worsening physical and mental health and causing low self-esteem and increased vulnerability to abusive relationships. It can also result in social withdrawal and masking, which is where an autistic person ‘masks’ their true self and adopts different mannerisms and interests to try and blend in more easily in social settings.

Addressing loneliness

For autistic individuals experiencing loneliness, there are many strategies to help manage and reduce these feelings.

• Reach out for support: Connecting with family and friends can provide much-needed emotional support.
• Engage through interests: Join groups or online communities related to your interests. This can provide a sense of belonging and shared purpose.
• Use online platforms: Social media, online forums, and gaming can be great ways to connect, though it’s important to be mindful of online risks like cyberbullying.
• Seek peer support: Local groups and services for autistic people can offer understanding and shared experiences.
• Meet in sensory-friendly environments: Choose social settings that meet your sensory needs to make interactions more comfortable.
• Spend time with pets: Pets or assistance dogs can provide companionship and reduce feelings of loneliness.
• Seek professional support: If loneliness impacts your mental health or ability to function daily, you should consider professional support. 

If you have recently received an autism diagnosis, connecting with other autistic people can provide an invaluable sense of belonging. Autistic adults discuss the benefits of finding other adults with autism in the video below.

Supporting autistic people to stay connected

While autistic people can take measures to prevent and reduce loneliness, the broader community must also work to identify and address barriers to social connection. When everyone makes an effort to be more inclusive, regardless of whether they are autistic or not, our broader society benefits.

Simple changes in public spaces, such as adjusting lighting, acoustics, and décor, can help address the sensory and accessibility barriers to social inclusion for autistic people. Employers, educators, town planners, and owners of public spaces can and should contribute to creating environments that consider the sensory needs of people on the autism spectrum.

If you are in crisis, call Lifeline on 13 11 14. In an emergency, always call 000.